Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
