The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
