I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
