Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
