the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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