too bad you live with your parents still
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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