I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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