come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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