Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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