ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
