She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
