We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
