i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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