We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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