If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
