the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
