She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
