i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize