Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
