she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Green mimosas i think yes
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My life is pants optional.
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