dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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