My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
