I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
