I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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