I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
