"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
