You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
