And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
