she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
