That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
