I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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