yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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