woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
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