dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
