i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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