this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
