Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
