you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Oh god it's open bar.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
