how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
