I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
