tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
God, I missed his penis.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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