You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you had me at cake vodka
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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