I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
