guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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