How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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