I don't usually arrange sex via text message
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she looked like the before picture.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
