textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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