That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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