In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Someone signed my nipple.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
