please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
