He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
