I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize