bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
this is an emotional support booty call
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize