So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
