Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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