Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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