how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
