is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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