At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
