i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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