When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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