"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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